A Blessing Called Introvert

September 26, 2008

**–Dedicated to ‘the best’ of my life–**

“Introverts are having majority in ‘Gifted’ population”

Introvert is a personality trait, can be define simply as “power with-in”. They are energized by being alone. They live gifted inner life. They are generally deep thinker, they analyze thing in better manner. Introverts are good sales player(according to sales formula that customer should speak 80% of time), very creative, sensitive(70% among Highly Sensitive Person) and artistic in nature.

They are empowered by positive side of being “quiet”. Introverts are good listener, they use to think before speaking. Introverts favors peace. They are more involved about discovering themselves rather then interacting with others. They have there personal life and personal area of thinking and especially they don’t want any intruders.

Introverts can be easily categorized by many behavior differences:

1. They always wanted to take out sometime to be alone to energize themselves.

2. They are definitely deep thinkers rather than being an action player.

3. Introverts may not be free enough to express themselves in public. They always notice surrounding audience, If they don’t, then something might have forced or excited them to take this aggressive step.

4. They are surely a good listener, they take a pause while speaking because they process their sentence in mind.

5. Sometimes, they may say anything much faster then current pace, that sentence may be quite crucial, because that indicates they are saying something, which is difficult for them to disclose.

6. They are intelligent speakers . They think before speaking and direct to the point.

What introverts want?

1. Main reason, Introverts are always treated a step back than extroverts because of their complex internal behavior, even many of us claims that they can not have good leadership skills, but I believe they can be good manager. You can find number of articles from introverts to extroverts but there may be no article from extroverts to introverts, this defined level of acceptance provided to introvert may be very less than extroverts in this extrovert world.

In many scenarios introverts are much better than extroverts.They feel insecure about level of acceptance and of “being misunderstood” by various extroverts (like me).
2. They just wanted others to understand them, ‘expression says more than words’ that exactly what they want.

3. They require sometime to be alone, without any disturbance to energize themselves. They don’t want any disturbance at that time period.

4. They want extroverts to understand there behavioral differences rather then blaming as very complicated and shy person. Just to mention, we treat something as ‘complicated’ because we are not having understanding capability to analyze or it takes too much efforts to analyze. So they require much attention then extroverts.

5. They always seeking for their comfortable environment. They require some extra time in slowly analyzing things.

6. They require special attention and caring. Take this point very seriously they require much attention and caring.

Caring your introvert

As already mentioned, they require special attention and caring. They feels shy about expressing their emotions and pain points. In there cases, body language play a key importance role. Apart from it, extroverts should be keen observers, surprisingly, they are quite good in hiding expression. When they are not comfortable, they always wanted to be alone and take out some time for themselves. Even introvert girls feels uncomfortable while disclosing their personal. Don’t force them to do things which they don’t want like trying them to ‘speak up’, publicly forcing them etc.

As personal encounter, I was successfully analyzed an introvert when she was not feeling comfortable, although she replied after a week or so that I was right at that time.

Loving an introvert

Introvert are lovable in nature. They are not the individuals of action but they cares about feelings,emotions etc. more than extroverts.

For sake of convenience, I am just dropping part for introvert-introvert relation mapping.

What is Love and Infatuation

I just want to describe love, being very high marketing and personal presence, love is far more important than this.

We are so much curious in understanding it, there are many novels, movies, serials many of those directly or indirectly relating to one of the most hot selling topic of the world ‘love’.

Although we may be aware little bit about love as many of flirts try to replicate or simulate symptoms and consequence of love. Many books represents step by step way to progress in this respect.

We all want love more than anything.

By birth, we are seeking for love. In childhood, we directly nurtured by love. At starting of our life we need it with great urge. At childhood we specially notice, that who love us most. Then being teenager, we are in excited stage, we try to find love as part of fun and pleasure and many times results in infatuation. After that, later part of our life, we are at more maturity levels of our mind, at this stage we may fall in love or infatuation in really slow pace. As our mind grows, we started analyzing multiple dimension and constraints, collecting more information and then processing them. It require little bit more efforts and time. After that, we find love in our children and cycle continues.

One more thing to state here that there is very thin difference between love and infatuation. Although greatest love of the world can die. So we can’t claim that only infatuation can end. It may also last longer and can be converted into some forms of love. No doubt, love supersede all these parameters, but love happens at max once then put a permanent impact on someone’s life while infatuation results more than once. That is love leads you toward a different life, life before love and after love is totally different.

Main difference is love spans at other’s end that is full of devotion and sacrifices while infatuation spans as a result of ‘need’ and ‘possessiveness’. There are some huge differences but I don’t want to disclose here, because I believe, infatuation is base of most of the love marriages.

If you are extrovert and you love some introvert. Then believe me, you are not so lucky. You require perpetual efforts and patience. You may go in heavy depression stage because you may be debilitated by misinterpretation and timing of response and sometimes complete absence for long. There will be situation when you neutralize your thought level and start analyzing cognitive way back by doing step by step analysis till date because you may not be left with any open option.

Sometimes, extroverts directly force introverts to speak, or to response which may hurt introvert. They want to choose there level of confidence and comfort to talk. You may find it strange when they don’t share there pain points with you and you always have to read them carefully to notice.

You may feel that the introvert are quite arrogant, shy or full of anxiety, but truly speaking they are not. Its really difficult to take on the word.

Extroverts can feel introverts’ need for distance as rejection.

Introverts can think extroverts are smothering or intrusive.

So is it really impossible for extroverts to love introvert?

Easiest answer is that its really very difficult but not impossible, we have to understand that in case of introvert, break even stage will be always ‘making your introvert at highest comfort level’ and assuring them that you will not change at any cost rather then trying to get some commitment about future. You are high level of caring and special attention. Apart from it, you may require high level of understanding and sensitivity “throughout”.

You may go in high depression stage, in this case medication is always better than bar!

There will be always good timings, when you will learn to accept there living and you will be capable to understand them but it require quite large time span.
Although chances of successful initiatives are very less. But this relation may be very near to be perfect one.
One more interesting thing introvert can understand extrovert, but however vice verse is not true.

*In revision.

** to be continued

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