Humor


FOR HAPPINESS MANTRA SEE SECTION II

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Very light humor to refresh your day.

CWG(Delhi Special)

News: India has good chance to win Gold at CWG:

Insider:

Top 10 athletes:

1. Chi cha chu — backed out

2. Shwin Hue – backed out

10. Stephen Kate – Considering

11. Balmaj Jit(No medal but still called Udata Panchi)

Balmaj(on call): Bhai.. Kate is considering to visit CWG.. please let them know how can it be secure when you are their… ya bhai.. 5 million.. OK.. bhai

+++++++

CWG Chairman: I am wondering, why stocks of five star hotels are going up.

Insider:

Kaalmadi: So atlast tricks are working.. I am sure I will be next gotala king

5 star occupancy rate shoots alltime high. Players of CWG are seeking private accommodations!!

++++

News: Bed of Boxer collapsed:

Insider:

Boxer: There was no ply.. only frame of the bed.

Worker: That kallu taken all the money.. I just stole one plywood for my house.. and ppl r still doubting me.. huh

ONE LINER FILM STORY(Last updated 7 Dec 2009)

Request: If you want to watch that movie, please don’t read story..

Kurbaan: Beware! unintentional love can kill you and intentional love can make you in trouble. So don’t love.

2012: If you are not rich, you need to work very hard to survive in 2012. Atleast producers are ..

The Sixth Sense: Don’t doubt the obvious.. if you do.. you need to watch full movie

Gajani: Even dead girlfriend can make you mad. Girlfriend are dangerous in every form.

London Dreams: Girls don’t like serious.. they like successful.. so grab the target first.. girls will follow.

If only: True love can give one life.. but will take another.

Serendipity: Always keep contact with your every girlfriend. You don’t know when you need any…

Namastey London: Love is blind, you try to hide all negatives. Don’t loose hope till end.. you will succeed one day.

Nayak: Don’t underestimate common man.  They can supersede you.

Hum aapke hai kaun: Everything in life don’t work on replacement theory.

Love Aaj Kal: Listen to your heart in taking important decisions because heart will always supersede brain.

Terminator: In future, humans will be screwed in robot’s fight.

3 Idiots: Two ways to live life: First define ideal and implement things to fit that “ideal”. Second one, to implement things and discover your ideal.  Second one is always going to be better. That’s why I am a blogger :-).

Avatar: Love can force you to deceive.

JOKES:

(To lazy to write now.. check after some days)

Funny Facts:

(To lazy to write now.. check after some days)

DSquare Just 4 Laugh Facts:

  • Our Progress is 50% only.  Marriage rate 7.1 per 1000 and divorce rate 3.5  per 1000.
  • According to Orkut (Social Networking) – Girls like intelligence more than wealth.. Obviously we always love things which we don’t have.
  • According to Google Trends – Sex is searched 1.54 times more than Love. But you may be sure about Indian Data..YES! In India, Sex is searched 5.25 times more than Love, infact highest in the world. We still say we preserved our culture!!
  • One more interesting observation with respect to above point: Every year, we got high search volume for “sex” near year’s end and highest search volume for “love” at year’s beginning. We know best time for the things :).

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Acknowledgment:  I would like to thank all readers specially Sanjay Ganju and Abhishek Kumar for formatting content and adding more value to this article.

———-

DSquare Release -> Happyness Mantra

HAPPINESS lies locked inside You only – Deepesh Deomurari

People usually don’t believe on this statement. According to them, happiest moment of their life is:

“When my sister got married” – Software Professional
“When I got loan for higher study” – Young charismatic software engineer.
“When I got royal treatment from my grandparents for passing MCA with good marks” – me (previously)
“When I was blessed with a girl child.” – Worker
“When I visited Pune” – mobile application developer
“When I got scholarship in my 8th grade” – US Student
“The day when I got the first job. When I got my younger brother and cousin sister” -Young software professional

So on and so forth.

Ask yourself and you may wonder for not getting answers like “my marriage”,” “first night” etc. Most of our happiness comes from our relations and not from us.

Now see the following questions and their related answers:

Q: What makes you happy…?

A: MY heart.

Q: Who is having that heart?

A:  Myself.

It means that you are making your heart happy with the help of your close friends/relatives or any other favorable event.

Wait; go to previous sentence and repeat with me. You are making your heart happy with the help of other favorable event.. Ya, you read correctly. Other favorable events make you happy.. NOT yourself. What the heck? I can’t make myself happy, I need some excuses? It hurts but true..

You may be having everything in the life for being happy, yet your happiness depends on others NOT yourself

You are having that heart that can make you happy. But, we lack somewhere; we need a medium. It can be a person/ event/ occasion to make our heart feel happy. Means   “Anything else”  not ourselves is making us happy!

So in simple YOU + Favorable events === Your Happiness.

But strange! Why do we need a medium to feel happy? Simply, because we never realized that we locked all our happiness inside ourselves- our heart. We need to realize that all happiness is located within us. All medium can make you happy to a limit. However, your heart has potential to cross that limit and be the happiest person in the world. THINK over it.

You are the cause of your own happiness and sorrow. You can be the happiest person in the planet WITHOUT anyone’s interaction. Got it now! Repeat with me..

The only one person who deserves love is myself.. nothing else. No one else
in the world deserves my love”.

All other things are “your responsibilities”.. nothing more than that. Responsibility should not be confused with rights/ love/ attraction/ emotions etc.

I realized this thing two weeks back. I started working on it. I found some of the happiest moment of my life without anyone’s interaction. Some were amazed at seeing me happy without any concrete reason.

I feel that emotions are important but only positive emotions. Negative emotions always became barrier to your life. Let mind handle negative emotions, not heart.  To be happy, take all positive emotions that make you happy and dump negative one. Crunch all negative emotions that may be your loved one, your personal stress, work pressure or anything else.

Taking negative emotions to your heart will NEVER NEVER help you grow. Throw away and dump it out. Enjoy every moment. Run away from every negative emotions. Do meditation/yoga, if you still can’t control. Real happiness will touch you when you realize that you are happiest person in the planet and you yourself can make you happy. Your heart will always have potential to maximize your happiness. There are many simulations. One such example can be the following:

When we take hard drink heavily, we started enjoying that moment. We feel that we are free to be happy there is no mind pressure. Can’t you do the same without drinking? You can! God has given you enough potential.

You are happier than at least 80% people around the world. But guess what. I can’t see you happier than them. Come on spread happiness. Every happy moment will add momentum to your life.

So only way to be maximize your happiness is to realize that all potential towards happiness is inside you.

Hey, now you reap benefit for being happiest person on the planet.

Just follow this statistics:

Make yourself happy X 2 + Make your relative/friends happy X 3 + Make others/anonymous happy X 5.
Remember note time of that event.

When you feel that, you have gathered enough point. Send it to me. Last date for submission is 15 January 2010. Winner will get prize in cash(atleast 500 INR).

Dump everything at my emailId(mouse over for email).

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5 Responses to Humor

  1. Aadesh says:

    humour is created by the human being only and u ppl spread it.:)

  2. […] Humor […]

  3. Epifania Lampke says:

    Wow, really enjoying this blog at the moment, I did a search and found it, so glad! I have just started with Yoga, and I enjoy what I’m reading here! How close is pilates to yoga though, just wondering?

  4. I arrived this site from yahoo for searching for some info about my own article, but sad to say I’m not learned some tips i was looking for. But your page Humor Deepesh Deomurari – Life open sourced is a great article! thanks!

  5. Roof Helmet says:

    :*. I am really thankful to this topic because it really gives great information *:*

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