Blossoming – Source of Happiness

September 9, 2013

This article is in alpha stage – there is possibility of change of title and content.

Parental Advisory
Enjoying Life..” We use this phrase when

  • After too much drinking and shouting ; hardly able to think.. we say dude you are enjoying life..
  • Have party every weekend and rocking the dance floor!!!
  • Flirting with opposite sex
  • Having very delicious seven course meal
  • Having good hangout with friends

Is that you call FUN or ENJOYING LIFE.. What a ignorance.

Aha! You can ask yourself.. or you might have heard..

*I always wanted to earn lots of money..
*I always wanted to be successful…
*I always wanted everyone should know me..
*i always wanted that my family should be the best and get the best..

Again what a ignorance..
And yes, our brain conditioning is so much hard that if anyone don’t think on these lines then he must be brainwashed or don’t know how to enjoy the life.. you might started having same feeling about me.. but what if whatever I am saying is true!!!

This might be shocking.. If this is all ignorance.. then; what is concrete.. It is giving “me” happiness..

Where is Happiness?
Whatever things listed above falls under just 1-2% happiness available for the mankind.. Yes, I am not drunk.. Something else is responsible for happiness.. Which generally we don’t deal with.. everything last for few mins/hours or months.. Isn’t that happening.. with all our happiness we have to renew it.. and we are in constant search for renewal of happiness.. some pleasant experience.. whether it is your lover or delicious food or amazing night life.. It just do some dangerous conditioning of the mind.. that says boss you have done this this thing last time to be happy then repeat the same..
Isn’t it!! When you go to your favourite restaurant you order for tried and tested things often… Right?
but think think think.. what is the source of all these happiness.. is these things – food, relations or adventure are putting happiness inside you.. NOPE they may be triggering very small fraction of happiness. In Ocean you throw some stones then what will happen.. some ripples are created.. how much time it take to settle.. Got it; yes, you are right ..You are so full you are the ocean of Bliss and something trigger very little bit of the big ocean… You can always have access to Big ocean.. you will not understand what I am telling you; experiencing the whole new arena of experiences.. where you will feel that whatever life  you have right now so not even 10% of what I am living right now.. Your quality of enjoy will grow manifolds. You will start enjoying every moments.. boredom will run away.. just by knowing that ocean.. and yes you can get the whole ocean.. don’t you know what is enlightenment all about?
I use to be excited about SMS stating that don’t tease girl, don’t drink alcohol etc etc.. and we use to have great laugh.. what the life would be…without all these..  but is it?

Secrets

There are two biggest secrets of the world – “You” and “God”. Forget about Who Am I.. but where is God, who is God! Answer to all these is that God exist  and almost all spiritual person have experienced it. Yes, you can only experience God. It is extremely easy. When you do few months practice of Sudarshan Kriya or Go very deep in meditation by continuous practicing for many months .. you will experience the pinch of Bliss.. The ultimate relaxation and peace which come from switching off everything .. may be only for few fraction of seconds but that is it.. and you are never the same again.. you will not fall under 1% happiness trap. Oh! Are you still wasting time by not experiencing it and practicing the same?????

It is just the mind game
Oh you have too much in your head.. but still not empty..
What happen when you dream.. don’t it feel like real!! Why it also impact emotions.. were you ever aware that you are dreaming!! Nope.. then does it mean that mind creates everything.. how come it may occur.. it is ofcourse not the memory.. you feel it absolutely real and you know what thoughts is..
Mind is not in body’ infact body is in Mind.
Oh! There is something else which is very obvious… so does it mean that there is chances to wake up from all these.. S you got a clue about enlightenment..

Why people are so fascinated about enlightenment
Our true nature is Bliss; nope not happiness; there are other levels..
People are too much confused with the wordings.. Pleasure, Happiness and now never heard.. and yet not experience “Bliss”.. Hey it is not like that you never experienced.. may be your happiest moment is somewhat 10% of the bliss moment.
To experience one moment of Bliss – that state for which you will be ready to dedicate many lifetimes. But Alas to mind conditioning of Kalyuga – we waste whole lifetime without experiencing “Bliss”.  Yes, you heard it right.. Whatever life any non-spiritual person have its just “they have to live that life”…
But how can we experience the bliss?

You are SOURCE not the DESTINATION

Yes it may be shocking to you again.. but that realization is extremely important. You need to be extremely lucky to experience that practically.. It is proved by reading this article that you are lucky that atleast you know very precious knowledge.

Yes, You are the SOURCE
1. Of all Happiness
2. Of all Knowledge
3. Of All Happening and specially your life!!

We always think that we are the destination of happiness. We watch good movies, or see comedy programs, do some adventurous stuff.. all is just waste of time.. Thinking that you are the destination and not the source!! then where is the source!??? Dear – You are the SOURCE. Yes same applies for Physical Pleasure.. that is just not even 1% of happiness available to you.
You might have thought that spiritual person are fools they don’t bother about things like you do and they are just spoiling everything bla bla bla.. Actually their life is far better and beautiful.. you can’t even imagine.. they are enjoying like anything.. you can’t even think of .. but still you need not to be greedy.. as you need lots of luck to experience that life. But understanding this fact is very important.
There are things ahead of perception of our little mind. Human is not the highest form of creation – but being human being we can reach the highest.
See the graph below. It clearly indicates that regardless of your utter hard work and contribution – if you haven’t grown spiritually; you will fall in 1-2% of happiness range and with heavily influence by negative emotions and just a bit of God particle.

Level of Happiness

When you started having spiritual experiences then you automatically attach to God and you start experiencing God. There will be huge difference in worship and rituals before being spiritual and after.. you may got intoxicated with the divine.. that moment when every particle contribute to your energy when everything blossom for you, become brighter.. you find many times bigger world inside you… with ultimate relaxation much greater than thoughtlessness.. all brain nerves going into deep relaxation.. peace with full of juice;. that can’t be expressed in words… the absolute comfort deep relaxation when you don’t want to open your eyes… yes that’s the moment you start experiencing God. Unfortunate are those who even not experienced state of meditation.

Events of your life


Forget about your facts of atheism or reincarnation.. there is no doubt that it exist – I can tell you with 100% Assurance and yes, there are many layers of reality – beyond our all imagination Infact.. your current life is combination of many past lives karma.. whether good or bad whatever happening in your life is heavily influenced by karma. There is very interesting program running behind the scene which is making current picture in front you. However, I will not go into complexity.
This picture will help you understand Karma influence on your current life. So stop blaming others – that has to come into your life.. now don’t bother too much about past.. that is gone.. work on the things you can change.

Influence of Karma
Please Maximize to see minute details

Seva – Selfless Service

If you want to instantly experience a high quality joy – This is the way selfless service. It is directly associated to contentment and happiness..

You being the source are here to “Give”

..Releasing soon.. in the press

This blog article content are compiled by knowledge from various sources- my master’s wisdom- H. H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Art of Living, Yoga Vashist, Patanjali Yoga Sutra, Bhagvad Geeta and many other spiritual treasures.


Are You U++

January 7, 2013

Apart from Blood Groups all of us also divided into four groups U++, U+ and U-, U–. Unfortunately 90%+ people are U- or U–.

When you are having surplus money, you plan to invest it with the intention to grow. Some are Investors who are not having that much patience to grow they become Traders!! They enjoy good return .. Sometimes. Most of you expect that whatever invested should grow Ok. Lets think if someone say what do you do? You start with saying that you are a software engineer or pilot etc etc.. these are actually role which are assigned to you. You are on this role mostly to earn money.

I keep of seeing many people crying that God is too bad for me for bla bla reasons and keep blaming that give rise to another atheist. Have you seen the other view? – Ask Yourself Are you doing enough for God?? It sounds strange but it is the matter of the fact – Just think that God created you, given you new life, parents, family, friends, happiness, beautiful nature, water, love and whole time what are we doing – we are snatching resources from the earth and others without giving any significant thing in return! That give rise to new blood groups U-, U–. Now wait a while and think when you haven’t done anything significant for God then what make you think that God should give you everything what you want(as per your thought) in life! Ideally, it should be nearly zero – which actually reflect how much change you made in other people’s life! So you are already at loan – You deserve nothing but we are getting too much – Two legs, two hands, beautiful eyes, great life – being HUMAN, enough to eat, accessibility to internet and lot more.. we are so much lucky that even though we DON’T DESERVE but god bestowed his blessings and infinite love to us!

In developing nation including India, many people start their life in earning money and end up doing the same! Without any other significant contribution! Here are the responses at different age
Teen age: Why have you taken engineering?
Ans: More job options.

2 years after getting job
Now you got the job! What do you want next?
Ans: To get good hike and appreciation

35+ year old person
Okey, you have done enough job and everything; now its time to do something for society. Isn’t it!!
Ans: NO, I have to earn for my family! I have to live for them.. once everything is done then I will think about Society.

60+ year old person
Now everything is done, lets do something for society
Ans: NOT AT ALL, How dare you to think about it! What is the use of doing for society – No one have done for me.. I have taken all pain to grow my families, my grandson and bla bla.. it is time to take rest and take the name of God.. and see my grandson marry.

LIFE END

But in whole life there were almost NO PEACE, NO HAPPINESS, NO JOY, NO ENTHUSIASM, NO SERVICE. Typical U(Usefulness)– or U- Condition.

So if you are falling in this or even similar trend then S.T.O.P. Where are you leading your life..??? Wasting another life?????

Fools say that involved in good things at the age of 60 or someone even say 75!! But that is something we are born for? Isn’t it?

WHY TO BE U+ or U++ (Useful and Very Useful)

First, when you become useful – when you earn enough for you and your family!!! I tell you that day will NEVER COME. It is always NOW, this very moment; Will people remember you after death? Lets see name of all important person from the history – Mother Teresa, Einstein, Newton or Now – H. H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Nelson Mandela. Why? because they have contributed to society; So if you are not U+/U++.. then why people will even bother to remember you..

JOY OF GIVING is one of the biggest joy available on planet – If you don’t know then experience it! Selflessly help poor and see what changes are happening inside you! It is one of the only thing which can give you contentment, satisfaction and lot lot more.

Here is our definition of Heaven and Hell.


When I am doing for only “Myself” it is Hell.
When We are doing for ourselves then it is heaven.

Think, if you have a problem and hundreds of hand are offering help – What can be better life then that! Similarly hundred people are celebrating your happiness then wouldn’t it will grow many folds?

“You” are totally responsible for tomorrow. “You” start taking out time for others and serving and helping others unconditionally and see your whole life will grow, nurture, appreciate! It is the best thing to do and our only mean of being on this planet.


Beyond The Illusion

May 6, 2012

Attention: This is very important knowledge. Please prefer reading in parts.

In Asian region there is a proverb “Everything is an illusion”. So if everything in the world is illusion then what is real!! – it is the absolute truth!! Is that mean whatever we see my friends, family all objects, home which felt very concrete are illusion? We will figure it out in this article.

We perceive world with 5 senses. Currently we can’t go beyond 5 senses – so whatever senses can perceive that we feel is “real”. E.g. for cats and dogs world is black and white. So it can not be discarded that world can have lot more than we see/feel!! There are many example like Mobile – hmm.. there are some waves which we can’t see.. thank god otherwise we will be heavily disturbed by the traffic :).

Lets keep the topic here only and come to the one who is reading this message. It is very important to know ourselves first. Lets discover who are we

Who Am I (without spiritual context): If you see the vast universe there are lakhs of galaxies and each galaxy has lakhs of solar systems and each solar system is having many planets apart from this one planet is our earth. So earth is simply not even a size of bacteria which can not be seen by eyes.. it is so so small. Now, it is easy to conclude our existence – telling negligible is bit more.. we are nothing literally nothing – If someone is looking at whole universe then we can never be seen! So every time when you feel you are bla bla bla.. look at an ant and say oh.. considering this universe I am smaller than you. It is strange – we feel that we are quite big, huge.. specially body builders and one having good height will argue.. but alas! Its true.. you are nothing.. accept it..

So what make us feel special when we are nothing!! Our Ego. Highest possible number is googleplex – 1 followed by 100 zeros. I tell you – Ego magnify us even far more than this.. It make us feel that we exist and we are so big.. we are something bla bla bla.. I tell you .. You are nothing .. wake up from the illusion created by ego. Look at the fraction of Universe below.. the very small dot is our milky wave.. it is not possible to represent anything further.. even that too a fraction of universe.

 

But how ego is playing a trick and magnify it ??

  Happy to see you.. Magic of Ego. I am sure it is very big eye opener to people who think that they are at top of the universe or who think they are something.. I again repeat it.. you are nothing.. but not insignificant! It is strange to say that when we are so small then what make us insignificant. Most of the thing we see is the illusion including the fact that we are in our body. Stop scratching your head.. You need not to think too much about it as at spiritual path(if you are lucky); you will realize it. Currently, take it for granted. Whatever you can perceive right now is not even 10% of the Truth! So whatever you see may be false!! It is the game of Maya(the Illusion). Everyone in the earth is for specific purpose and purpose is NOT to feed myself and handle my family! Not at all – we are not additional weight and consumer of this earth. But foolishly, people spend whole life without ever understanding their significance!

 We have already seen the illusion of ego – Now feel that if you don’t have or very minute ego then you will come out of certain illusion. Whatever appears to be mine is actually God’s and God has given you to use that for very small amount of time(our lifetime). Even your enemy is not very different from you as it is the game of God everywhere and we are God’s children.

 Now apart from ego, there is another very powerful factors which create magic and save the illusion – That is our senses and supremely Sex. Most of the forms we see – fashion. Love, jealousy, hatred, advertisement, movies, dating etc is based on Sex. So in one way it is create us bigger fools! If you see with unbiased view – Sex is hindering us and make the opposite sex important for us! We feel attraction, attachment.lust etc. Which is certainly not true. Also in the bigger term attraction is also part of Maya – The illusion.

 Maya(Illusion)

So now it is time to focus on our second biggest enemy – Maya – The illusion. What is illusion – It is primary created by five senses. We can only perceive which is in the scope of five senses. Obviously things are beyond this .. for example mobile phone . Five senses together create illusion of this world as totally different entities. However, quantum physics says that all are made of energy(wave function); but for us all things are different!! Isn’t it odd!

Now lets see at some of the illusion –

Eyes: We think that eyes can see the thing. When you start thinking of something then also image come to your mind – through eyes your mind perceive and also without eyes – mind perceive!

Senses are responsible for creating the whole world! Senses triggers desire – we want to eat delicious fruits, see the beauty so on and so forth.

One of our most important thing which give happiness is Desire!!! Wait – It seems like it does.

Nature of Desire: All desires are having one goal – to give some happiness. Someone may argue that no some of my desire is for loved ones e.g. My daughter should get married and should get good husband. Now if we see that it is related to daughter not you.. but its wrong – it is related to you. You are asking for your loved ones because their happiness contribute to yours. So directly/ indirectly all desire aim happiness but ALAS! No desire can ever give you happiness.

Nature of Desire – Illusion View

Read the rest of this entry »


The Life Cycle

March 2, 2010

–I would like to thank Samir, Prateek, Abhishek, Sanjay, Ravi for giving their support and guidance, which added value to this blog post. Without your efforts, this article can not be a SUCCESS.

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19 August 1949 An unknown UFO  is seen at the Death valley. Many villagers are claiming that they have seen a spaceship landed .. sorry kissed the land about 3 meter up from the base.

No hair, Small height, big dangerous eyes without any eyelash, without ear bone.. Tough color, dangerous looks… that’s an alien – a villager spoke..

Lets come back to law of physics: We developed a machine, at initial, it takes time and heavy load to start, once it started running, it got full efficiency at 20% of its life cycle and then its efficiency top out after some period; which is the start of declination. Everyone including us, the human being follow same principle. At initial stage, we require heavy support to grow. After that roughly from the age  of 16-50 we experience consistent growth with little variation and then declination starts and then death. We top out at somewhat mid of our youth life. This fact is based on law of physics there is no machine which can show 100% efficiency throughout its life.

The fourth dimension:

We see, perceive things in three dimension. But our theory is challenged by scientist in 1827 onwards. There are more dimensions.. not 4 .. its 10 or 11d. Still debate is going on in accepting super gravity as a dimension. But however, in sort there are 10 dimension, but its true we perceive only 3 dimension space.

One of them most important dimension is “time”. We were always excited about it, no.. we normal human can’t see it or feel it. But everyone in the world know that it exist. We always thought that it is impossible to think about time machine.

In 2007, scientists got a breakthrough in this space with the concept of bending space-time. Now they are trying to make it in closed special shape. Another research come from Einsteins theory of relativity.. if their is black hole which absorb things then there should be white hole which emits that things.. because all physics law are symmetric in nature.

Everyone know, one day we will realize time machine. No.. not in next few years but in next few decades.

Wait! How can we say it? There is nothing stored as of past. How can we travel back? I hope you might have heard about hypnotism. Hypnotism has proven that our brain is quite powerful in keeping track of all history and gaining consciousness of always every instant we every spent. Travel among different life, imagine things and many more. So ya! we can perceive past.

Lets assume, we are having anything on the name of time machine. It exists, now how can ‘that future’ impact our present. They are already impacting. Lets again look back at the description of stealth technology i.e. plane which are not detected by R.A.D.A.R, many scientist suggested that technology is borrowed from aliens. Scientists are not even able to understand the creation of spaceship!!

What are aliens? Big eyes, no lashes, no nails – hair, without ear bone. Always aliens come and disappear in very short time span. We always believed that they are from other space. But one strange thing, everytime, we see spaceship and after sometime .. spaceship is lost in the air.. no one claim the existence for a long time. Because that was not a spaceship.. that may be just a time machine!! Aliens are nothing but the human of the future.  No .. it is not possible they look quite different!!! Isn’t it?
We know that our body is quite adjustable, it changed a lot according to environment, in the near future, we will be highly impacted by ultraviolet rays. This will soon start burning our eyes specially eye lash. To protect our eyes, eyes will become bigger. All waste like hair, ear bone, nails etc will be vanished. As we heard that in history, kings are having height about 7-8 feet. But now, average height is decreasing and in near future, it will decrease to the size of alien. Another important fact, aliens are having nothing more than what we have today. They are not having any tail or thorn!! Another important fact, that lies in the existence, most of the alien are seen in developed countries. We rarely find appearance of any aliens in poor African/Asian countries. At that time, guys from developed country may be having curiosity to see their past. It is quite obvious that in future world war, developed country will be the best candidate to survive and after that, their races will cover the whole world.

Ok let’s have things one by one. Here I am going to answer things one by one:

How anyone can see the future?

Time is one of the most mysterious dimension. It can be taken as the snapshot of the entire world.

What are the occurrence of events and their relation with the third dimension? How someone can predict the future? These things are impossible.

We always here the fact that our life-cycle is cyclic order after kalyuga, next step will be satyuga and things will continue.

Life Cycle:

In our life, there are two type of pre decided events 1. Fixed 2. Decision. Our life can be portrayed as a workflow diagram where some actions are upto us to decide. Most(if not all) of the things in our life are fixed. There may be very few decisive points.
When we born, we are having our complete fate in our hand. Expert palmist/astrologist can predict it to the greater extent i.e. they can predict what can happen in your life based on certain stars or palm lines. So there are something very accurate and fixed, which can be predicted.

So that’s it. Whatever we do till date is fixed then? then I should not be worried about things happen in past!! Ya you should not, even decision events CAN NOT be changed.

According to new research based on gravitational forces, we are JUST a holographic image. We may not really exists!! So our life is a sequence of major events.

Wait! There are other things! It is not only our life events.. there are some global events which happens including accidents. They are part of system.

So Life Time consist of fixed events, predecided events and meeting with global events.

Now taking it at minute level:

We, the Human

Who are we? Wait and think about it.. hmm got an answer. We do exist in this world for thousands of years, we are the same. I feel that it can be changing of snake’s skin.

Emotion, Alas! we, even the director of matrix believed that our emotions CAN NOT be an outcome of equation. I believe it is. Emotions helps us in building relations and binding which help us to be socialize and unite. It is strong bond between us. But unfortunately, emotions rules us to some extent. It is important for our survival, emotions exist in every living species. If controlled, emotions can become very aggressive powers and motivational factor. It can also act exactly opposite.

So, leaving the emotional part apart.. what is our exact nature good or bad? Simplest answer will be GOOD infect very GOOD. We are befooled with the game of senses and emotions to let them choose our direction. I would like to keep some views on lines of Swami Vivekananda speech

“You will find two things everywhere. Sex and Ego. God has made sexual desire very very powerful for growth of species. Ego is chief things and sex lies on it. If we identify our true potential then all such sexual urge will be in control. Believe it or not, Most of the things we do is directly or indirectly related to Sex like fashion, perfume, body building, cinema, dance, hotels etc.”

I have a strong believe that physical intimacy make very heavy emotional bond. This bond can be sufficient to live a life with someone, that’s why it may be first thing after marriage. This bond is not infatuation but ya, its not love even.

Human and the God

It is very unfair, Most of the god are human. Then why they have created us so weak? Why we are not having that “special” fact. We are only having matured big brain! Is that the only difference between us and other living creatures?

Think… Think… Think… Oh! Got the solution!!! NO? Let me help you.

We are very powerful. We can walk on water, we can fly in air, we can see the future, even we can change the future event, we can control nature. We can control animals and many more .. All these things are lies inside us only. We only need to realize and unlock that hidden potential.

Ok! Wait!! According to your thinking, we are having so much power then why anyone realizes such powers never helps us? Why they left us to fate? are they too selfish?

We are living in a system. This system is ongoing and has processes. Only people who have unlocked some of the inner potentials, can clearly understand this system. So they are aware about processes and rules/regulations associated with it. We are part of the system and we are NOT supposed to make dramatic changes in the system. If we will, we will be directly thrown out of the system regardless of any major facts.

Everyone should be selfish. Love yourself most, then others. It is law of survival.

However, I haven’t got enough favorable opinion. but it would not be a surprise if everything we see, perceive and sense may really NOT exist at all! They exists for binding us to the mortal world and to control our power.

Regarding Sex: Both male and female seems to be equally powerful. According to Hindu their supreme power is recognized as Shiva and Shakti. However, power of Shakti extended scope and touches males also.

So God gifted us this life to add some values to the world. We are most powerful species.

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Your Personal Remedy

July 6, 2009

When we face some problem at our work, we should try to look out for strategic solution with the help of our cognitive skills and experience. We did a lot in our professional life but things differ when we have to deal with our personal life. Almost all personal consultants can give better solution than the one, they decided for their personal problems. If we examine further, we may get response as
“Hey! My problems are quite difficult then my clients. I accept, I am not the best to solve them!! Otherwise I would be the happiest one..”. .The long silence,..the realization that somewhere something went wrong, a pause! digging the internal!! .. Hey, I(consultant) never thought that way before!! Really!!! whom am I to solve other’s personal problems when I can’t solve mine? I am not the best one to solve personal problems.. am I? What’s wrong with me??
If we started taking the same, many of us may think in the similar fashion at some point of time: I have given guidance to many friends but I can’t able to solve mine own relative problem. Is mine personal problems are difficult than others? A simple answer is NO. What went wrong!! The answer lies in the basics of thinking and its relation with our sentiments.
We always treat our personal problem as kinda disaster by adding worry and other concerns to main problem. Interestingly, we are so busy that we even forgot to put efforts in solving them!! I know, many of us, who faced some personal problems may be agitated by this fact. It may seems harsh, but “true”. We rarely concentrate on solving the problem, we atmost expect that how it can be avoided(i.e quick fix or workaround) or delayed. Why its so?
We are best in solving other’s problem and specially our area of expertise.. a computer architect may be best in providing solution for your technical problem, doctor is best in providing solution to our health problem. Psychiatrist are best in solving mind and some personal problem. But at home, they all are helpless.. OK! they are not expert in providing solution to their personal problems, they need to learn about that problems to give a better solution; isn’t it?? Again big NO.. It is only having a psychological barrier. Our mind works in similar logical aspect to solve a problem regardless of behavior. There are two aspects, we are going to cover:

1. How should we look at the problem and solve them
2. Planning the life in the way that future will be more safe and secured

If you explore the internet, you can find there are many steps/solutions given by different philosophers, however most of the solution converges to reinforce one hidden point. We are going to take more on this “hidden” point, which is first time(here) referred directly.

We say, we “humans” are having most complex life. Lot more than any other species on earth..They can do whatever feel like but we can’t!Why :( ?

It’s us, who define our life and surrounding environment.. we defined relations..we created society.. all in all it is for our own convenience. Then!!! what went wrong?? are we facing problem by the rules and regulation virtually or mutually agreed by us?? Are we?

We keeps on diversifying and merging at such rate that we created things dense and complex. We(and the God) choose the level of complexity of our life by choosing our lifestyle, our loved one’s, our targets and some other relative factors. If we want peace, we can directly erase all relations and can take a shad in mountain’s peak; be a saint!! But its same as
I close my eyes and feel that every problem related to me are solved, it was like a bad dream over.” Many of us solve problem in similar fashion.
Unfortunately, there is no panacea available.
At some point, heart follows the mind. Its true that every feeling is realized by mind but may felt in heart. When we enter the world, we automatically attach to many relations, even though we were not aware about meaning of the word “r e l a t i o n”.
To our wonder! our heart started accepting the things in the way its decided by our society..My brother/sister, my parents, my grandpa. Even in long run.. I married to that girl, she is my wife and father in law etc. If something stuck to our mind, which may be natural..but we always learn, that its wrong .. means it is. We automatically started feeling guilty for that. It is something to do with our tradition and values. Mind plays very important role in identifying good or bad. However, It may not be in the scope of the topic! I just wanted to evaluate how things actually work and a clear segregation of the difference between mind,heart and its roles.
Every problem, whether personal or work related can be mapped in one problem domain space. We can find solution in the same way(for both), however criticality differs. Sorry to be harsh, but sometimes we blow into emotions or worry and we act like a fool to solve our personal problem. I will give many example to explain it in simpler terms. I believe that mostly, neutral and experienced person are having better solutions. Not clear? take it in two parts.. First neutral.. i.e. no heavy emotions or worries with regards to the problem which give maximum power for brains to work on. Secondly, “Experience”- it matters in two aspects.. First if they experienced the problem, then they might have solved it, Its human tendency to dig further the solution in order to improve over our decision making capability, to give better solution in the next attempt. If person already experienced that situation he will also be aware about criticality of that problem and pros and cons associated with it(Married one may say don’t marry :D ).
Phew.. too big things!! Lets bookmark it, dumping everything at once is not good idea.
Now direct to the point, if we require to solve, we should know that we are going to follow some solution strategy with critical measures and NOT obvious reactions due to sequence of that problem or its consequences. Lets understand the difference between solution and obvious acts –
We are going to include some of the real life examples, which I feel are good for illustration:(Nearly all examples are inspired from real life events). All are obvious acts and NOT the solution.

General Solution: First, we need to believe that there is no problem in the world which can not be solved. I just want to remind you, I am strictly talking about “problems” only. However, factors of efforts, self confidence and motivation required may vary according to the problem, its complexity, its current state and positives and negatives related to that problem. Remember, for any problem there are two parties, one which really favors solving the problem and others who never cares about problem and unknowingly working on making it more difficult. In general, positive parties include all persons who loves you and matured enough to make a positive impacts regarding the problem(which nearly can be estimated to <5 persons). and other party includes society and other relatives/friends etc who don’t have direct impact on that problem.NO PROBLEM IN THE WORLD CAN BE SOLVED PERMANENTLY BY FORCE.

Smoking and Drinking problem: Here comes the gizmo’s.. It is always been the biggest problem for any family. Lets see the scenario what a normal person or many of us who is reading it for the first time may react:

Ritch is a heavy drinker.. It has been four years of his marriage with her beloved Alice. Ritch is a very good person. He fully concentrate on his work, love his family and always try to maintain good relations with others. But somehow, things are not going in his favor. He is a heavy drinker, which is eating the measure chunk of his “hard earned” money. After delivery of his only son Dennis.. their marital relation gone bad. They spent most of the time cursing each other and ya, the god for giving them “bad” partners. They just forgot their 9 years old love and hundreds of sacrifices to make this relation alive. First time, Alice told Ritch.. “you nuts.. you can’t understand anyone’s feeling.. you always afraid of things.. so you take help of drinks. That’s all you are.. just drinking all our hard earned money. You just gulped our happiness for your noble pleasure, are you having any idea, how are we living in these conditions? Why are we not happy like our neighbour Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Why you can’t throw this out?” First time in life Ritch got badly hurt. His eyes got wet and he tried to say something but just a light whisper with heavy heart.. hardly touched Alice ears! “This! this all!! I loved you madly! I always preferred your happiness over mine.. I faced all situations, I sacrificed a lot to make you happy.. and now you are telling me ..nuts.. just for the drinking reasons!!”. Two unnoticed tears rolled out of his cheeks and taken rest at the carpet. That was the end of this happiest couple. Obvious enough, for one week, Ritch tried hard to come out of his drinking habits, every time her wife kept on cursing him, by all means “forcing”. Ritch fought for one month… but sure enough.. no luck..Time spent.. and they started carrying their relation for the sake of their child’s future. Love lost in dark and found work of watering eyes. Continuous forcing and negative waves made it worst, finally it ends with a divorce.
Have you seen someone doing the same? Is that a solution or obvious acts?
Now lets see the solution:
Problems: Smoking and Drinking problem
Solution: First we take necessary steps to take it as a problem. It’s a problem and there may be a person who suffered from that problem. If that problem is taken out of that life then that person may be really good. OK!! now stop complicating that person’s life. If any person is in problems then he/she may be willing to have the best solution for that problem. So motivation factor is already there. Lets take a solution of above listed problem(take this ending)
Alice soon started realizing that Ritch is having drinking problem and this problem can not be cured at once. So forcing/emotional blackmail or impact view may not be able to solve it. Alice approached Ritch, holding his hand and told in a low tone, I can understand. I still loves you. I was just angry, I am with you, always. This has done a magical impact of Ritch, Ritch just reassured that he need to take out from that drinking problem. Alice supported Ritch decision. Ritch joined best alcohol rehabilitation center. Alice understand that it takes some time so next time when she saw, at times, Ritch drinking heavily. She haven’t reacted, without creating a scene. Soon magic started, Ritch found something more important for him than alcohol. He really started caring about his family, the only thing which rejoice his happiness. However it has taken about 1 year to fully recover from that state. So patience, courage and love made the magic in Alice’s life.
Lets take another look. Our next example::

Dealing with criminals
Mr. Sunil always taken his son “Ram” as his proud. His elder brother Shyam is capable enough of understanding their responsibilities and done too good for his brother and other family members. But things started hurting them when surrounding of Ram started turning bad. Most of his friends are indulge in criminal activities. Soon winds started blowing from other end which impacted Ram’s behavior and thinking. Obviously, Shyam has an important role to play here. He started pressurizing Ram to be away from his new friends, Shyam bitten his younger brother badly. Ram agreed, but he again kept contact with them, now things were hidden. One day, when Shyam realized that things are not changed and it even became worst.
He started shouting on his younger brother, slapped him and warned him to stop doing these things again. But things again gone worst and now ‘out of control’, so it started impacting Shyam’s life which reflects in his behavior. Even though no change in the things!!! Story goes on.
This is the expected approach or obvious acts. Isn’t it. It seems that this is the best way to get things resolved.. If you think so, you really need to read this article once more.
Problems: Dealing with criminals
Solution: First of all its important to understand that why anyone is involved in it. Somewhere something is overlooked by Ram. Ram should have track of Shyam’s surrounding. Its important to understand Ram’s priority. What is he finding in them? Anyways, these things can not be solved in one day. Rather then shouting on his brother and threatening him or his friend! Its important to make him to change the way of thinking rather than forcing to change. Support good friends of shyam, ask his old trustable friend to assist him. Sit with shyam, try to give him more time in understanding his pin points. Sometimes, we can also take emotional advantage of the things – who is more important. Something need to understand “Don’t ever abuse his friends or him for this.” Let him realize what you actually wants and why? Soon you will realize that the things will change. Have patience, even if the things got worst, don’t loose your patience. Have faith on God. Continuous struggle will make it solved.-
Typical Love Problems:
Here is another problem involving typical age group (around 20-30 years) . Now It’s very serious concerns and eligible to be added to this article.
Richard is simply outstanding person. Smart, intelligent and career oriented. He put a positive fan around him which impressed many girls. But however, he preferred to make himself reserved and always found a better place to invest time. Still he was most discussed topic around girls. Time spent, soon, cupid blessed him with the divine feeling of love for a girl Mary. As usual Richard tried to hide his feelings, just to protect any mishaps and tried continuously to concentrate on their original target. Something never means to be hidden, it flashed a bit to pass a buzz to the surrounding. As usual, when disclosed, Mary was really angry that now Richard started flirting with her. She got really angry as it may put effect to her image. She stopped having any communication with him. She also felt that Richard is a big flirt because he use to talk with many girls. Girls started minting her to ensure their flirt assumption should become stronger with time. A silence put a big disturbance in Richard’s life. Richard never able to understand whats going on behind the scene. Time passes on to make things worst. Poor Richard keeps on trying to contact to her. Everyone started abusing him that why he want to waste time for that type of girl(Mary)? Mysterious communication gap made it worst. He continue to take on the pain(read more at Love the mystery revealed). However love impacted his personal and professional life badly. It just associated to his current pain. People keep on forcing him in order to make him understand that he is going in wrong track and it will only spoil everyone’s life. Days passed on, Richard continuous to fight with himself but it started spoiling his career and no doubt the personal life. On the other end, Mary keep on acting against him. At the end his life was ruined.
I really wonder; we expect this behavior from a teenager but what should we do if that case happens with a matured person like Richard? Is that impact of films or need of love? What do you think? these type of person should be badly punished.. isn’t it? In love and crush related cases things should be straight forward ‘make’ or ‘break’. This is the practical approach. If we keep on with things which is not logically beneficial for us then obviously it made everyone to loose. Although we should not write these things but if that person made a suicide attempts due to continuously taking on unbearable pain then!!(To neutralize suicidal tendency, Read your most precious moments and Every Human Being is special). It would have impacted life of every associated one. What would be the image of that person? How that person can face the world? Don’t you think the same? Let me know your views..

Problems: Typical Love Problem
Solution: First we need to understand, Love/Crush or any other variant may directly impact heart, really(Love) or virtually(Crush). So mind has very little to do with the things. In most of the cases, these things happen automatically. Its very obvious that its impact can be as of drug which produce very high intensity of love or hate. Whatever that person do in that period is just an impact of Love/Crush. So that period should never be keep into account in judging that person. So are they need to understand, what are they doing? Surprisingly NO. You CAN’T help, they may be aware what are they doing and what can be the impact but however, they can’t move out of the things. They adopt it personally. However, These type of things should be done with intense care. Mary can easily hurt Richard. Hurting anyone may be the worst thing of the world. Mary need to show some intelligence and understanding. Mary should understand the value she may be having in Richard’s life. I talked to one of my friend and explained this scenario – My friend quickly told me that his life will be like “living dead”. To harsh to share, but somewhat true. Loving someone is life switching i.e. if you love someone, everything change and someone else may have very strong presence in your life(More at Love the mystery revealed). Main source of lover’s happiness is their love. Everything else may be contribute to partial happiness. We all experience love in our life. We got love from parents, family, good old friends and many more. It is one of the most important factor of life, every other things are spontaneous pleasure/happiness. All are having similar characteristics. It need to be addressed that crush may include possessiveness and react slightly different than Love. However we don’t ever have to reveal actual difference between this terminology. It can break many relations. Back to the problem, here Ram may be continuously worried about Mary. It will be worst if he is not able to look whether Mary is happy or not. If Mary stopped responding then level of stress for Ram is going to increase, she may try to reduce the communication gap. Level of stress will continuously to increase with the time. soon it may reach to unbearable level of stress and may impact Ram’s health and can increase suicidal tendency. Impact in the middle period is unpredictable. It is also interesting that the level of dedication and sacrifice in love is so strong that experts advised that for loving anyone, one should love yourself before loving others. In this case, whatever the Mary’s decision. Mary should avoiding hurting Ram and further impacting his life. Mary should not abuse Ram’s life. There may be little problems, but however it is manageable.. Love is always treated as being the good thing due to its behavior, however it can put worse impact Love is Evil Article. Things written to heart are very difficult to erase. If you are in love then I believe that your partner is best in deciding your life. I believe that breaking hurt is the worst thing anyone can do. I don’t know how much may be aware that broken heart is physicaland can be in form of acute heart attack. It can weaken your heart(traumatic impact). However, heart can be healed with intense care and deep rest for 3-4 months. Apart from its psychological and emotional(which may last life long) impacts, it can also lead to various symptoms to severe problems.

Lets peek into problems of businessman Raju…
Businessman’s problems:
Raju is the owner of firm indulge in export business. Raju taken a lot to make firm in the state, it is, today. Raju wants her son Manish to go on the same line. He want that Manish should follow his defined way, which is chosen by him and make this firm grow bigger and bigger. When Manish was in 12th. Raju trying to make him biased toward business and forced him to do BBA and then MBA, which may help him in joining their family business- Raju’s whole sole asset. But however, Manish is too keen in sticking with his computer and doing hit and trial to various sites. These things always made Raju bit angry. Time keeps running and Raju’s frustration increased day by day..
Ok! Ok! then.. look at the reason of join to nuclear family migration.
Problem: My son should follow me..
Solution: We should understand two things, every generation differs from the previous for many reasons. There is no level of saturation. Everyone is having different mindset. It is general belief that if you got something so easily, you will never realize the real values of the things. Raju might have done tremendous job, but if he really want to make Manish do the same. Never force Manish to do the things. Involve him only if he is interested. Its upto him to decide what’s good for him. We can only deviate thoughts and can help them in better decision making.

Joint to Nuclear Family Migration
I just keep bugging people to know more about their observations!! Interestingly world consist of various trouble and troubleshooters, but all having different approaches. I rarely found anything common between views of two persons. One of the view is migration of joint family to nuclear. India was known best for having joint families in late 19’s but there is heavy migration. Is it the impact of western culture!! Nope.. Its our internal conflict.
The change we are seeing in Indian culture today is the correction which need to happen at some point of time. Its not today. If you take a look at history, you will find lots of attempts of correction and its recovery. Now we got support from west, which made the breakthrough. More on this in near future..
This mix cultured and different generations made a huge different in integrity of joint family. Many of us think that wife is the main cause of all such family problems. I believe that your wife favors you, with the only reason that she is more selfish

:-)
:-)

. I know, this sentence will be always in doubt.Now, Money is also one of the core importance. There are step by step breakdown of joint to nuclear family:
Step1: Senior members started getting annoyed with the change in next generations which act like a spark in internal conflicts.
Step2: That conflict may lead to social or financial matters.
Step3: Things will be indirectly communicated so that no one can understand the original matter
Step4: It will give rise to all small matters which was hidden but accumulated with time.
Step5: Everyone thinks that splitting will solve the problem so they split into nuclear family.
After splitting, problem started increasing due to lack of dependency and support. These things have after shock impact. They want to get together or atleast improve relation.. but.. no hopes.
Solution: First, we need to understand the need of changing world. Mostly, big joint family is not supported with future view of the things. Isolation may actually improve relations. I believe that it require strong gum of love/affection and respect to make joint family together. But however, with the changing world many people may not like it and it may be wrongly interpreted as intrusion to their privacy. Best advantage of joint family will be heavy financial and emotional support. To work out with the joint family, each member should understand that their may be need of changing world around them and new member, being the part of family. They should respect each other’s privacy and opinion and not unnecessary surpassing any other’s viewpoint. It should be taken for sure that still someone may not feel comfortable in that environment.

Anyone interested, can suggest us solutions in comments. However, it will be published soon is successive drafts of this topic.
These completes the general view regarding problem and solution space.I end with another hint. I found this quotation: Perfectly fit for problem solving..
Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
So, if you have not done this! then surely you may have ended with taking wrong decisions for your life.

I saved my future:

Lets see where some of us lacks.
I believe that best way to earn money is to predict the future. It’s also a strong point that predicting future in the correct way, can lead to good luck. Luck is also interesting thing. It can be taken as mix of solution to relative probability of domain including targeted people/dream, opportunity and heuristics knowledge. Fortunately, People’s awareness about predicting future is increasing. Lets see how predicting future impact our life…

One old man sitting in relaxing chair with lots of tension .. cursing his luck for all the mishaps. I gone to him and asked what happened.. he told that I am looking for options to arrange enough money for my grand daughter’s marriage. I tried many times but never succeeded. Now I want more than 5000$ in one month. I wonder how can I arrange that?

Solution: We always hear that ‘Prevention is better than cure’. We mostly related it with health. But the rule applies for almost all things. All conditions in I saved my future explains that how prevention is far better than cure(if any) to situations. In current situation, The old man should have planned about 5000$ before the things happen. It is easy to save such chunks of money in a lifetime.

Take another look:
Problems of NRIs:
“One Indian couple settled in USA. After long time i.e. more than 25 years, Mr. Sanjay(Father) told his son(Vicky) to marry to an Indian girl. Vicky given a rude reply. “Dad! Its my life and I will make all decisions, I don’t want anyone to interrupt, so don’t come in my way. I will marry to the girl, which I feel like.”, Sanjay’s face shrank, his dream is over.
What about this one
Expense Management:
Liza is having last few breaths remaining.. Lots of tears surrounded her. Everyone was in a low. Shem keep on shouting outside ICU. Its all my mistake! I am responsible for her conditions!! Today, I am helpless!! This recession taken my job and wife away from me.. Oh god! Why you did it to me.“.
Just a synopsis: Liza was suffering from skin cancer. Shem is happily married person, manager of Meryl Lynch bank with handsome salary of 100,000USD per annum. Liza was well on the go, till the recession and her health hits her. Shem was not prepared for this blow. He arranged money from every options to assure his survival for few months. But constant expenses of one of the best hospital of California was simply unbearable. It has to end some way..
There are endless examples which can be seen in one form or other..
Solution to all such remains in the core idea. your thought may be “No one predicts about their future.. Its nonsense.. these are very big problems and I don’t feel that anyone can solve the problem. It is all due to Luck. Poor luck is most abused thing of the world and it is mostly responsible for almost all bad thing happened in your life.. Ya! but at the times to take credit of goodness then we say atmost that luck helped us but its all my courage and desire to excel the things. Its not only luck, no way…
We can foresee almost all of the problems which we can face in the future and we can prioritize accordingly. Some are common among individuals. Like in the first example, its obvious that guy born and brought up in USA may not have typical Indian thinking!! Then why his father even expected him to marry to an Indian girl? This reply is very obvious. Although its not the solution. I am not giving the solution, I just want to throw a light which may lead to a solution.
One poor family member can have many responsibility. That person may say “I am poor. I can’t help in relaxing my future problem. I know, problems will come.”.It reminds me to great saying of Billgates:
“If you born poor it’s not your mistake, But if you die poor, it’s your mistake”, interestingly, I found lots of comments discussing what the use of money after death and relative absurds. It simply means that all in all how much you made of your life? You got an initial environment which is not in your control. But your courage, progress, ability to improve your skills and visualization to implement your big dreams is still in your hand. It may be difficult but it is not impossible. Honestly, everything have its pros and cons. Even if we talk about rich family It may be equally difficult to reach own targets. So that ‘poor person’ already declared himself as a “Looser”.. no .. he is NOT a looser, he is coward. Looser can progress cowards can’t. You can relate it as “accepting defeat before playing.”. This is my definition of coward. That type of person can hardly progress, they are more dependent and they always seek for external motivating factor. Spark lies within us! we only need to realize it to ignite the fire. You need not to find it outside us.

Problem lies in almost everyone’s life. If you never felt that in your life then you missed a greater opportunity to learn. Your life becomes more important and directional when you face a problem. It also aid to your bearing capacity and better decision making ability. Best way to solve your personal problem is to take it as a general problem and try to solve it more consciously and in independent manner. Independent simply means that neglecting the presence that you are having in victim’s life and other involved; thinking from his/her end to have better visualization of problem and its impact and thinking what’s best for him/her. This concept however leads to one trait of Golden rule(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethic_of_reciprocity). If you start thinking independently, you reached at first step to better tomorrow.
Waiting for your comments and suggestion, which always helped us in improving my writing skills and views.
Revised Draft. I will appreciate if you can spent some time in helping others by providing your feedback or commenting on for better solutions i.e. If you are chosen to give solution to any problem listed in this topic, what would be your way of solving it?
Final revision with solution will take some time. Feel free to communicate anything with us. We are here to help you out in making a better tomorrow.


Accept Yourself

October 6, 2008

We started seeing the competitive world, sometime cursing our fate for not being the “best” of the world. We started to feel jealous with an illusion that other one is superior then us may not be in quality but in satisfying her need or situation at current instance. At one aspect, jealousness can be an outcome of alternative need.

These jealousness may lead to frustration and some times into anger.

Why we feel something like that? is It some short of deficiency or luck? We try to find references in dozens of books about how to grow, mental peace and other personal affairs. But we hardly implemented any of them, most of the books just extended their stories and provide some way comparative environmental generalized view, which may not be suitable for us.

Many researches shows that motivational factor is one of powerful candidate at employee’s success. It is one of the accelerating agent in  having good professional life and personal too. Let’s analyze, why we think we can’t and all relative absurd feelings. From my view, most important thing is first we should understand our power and dimensions at different levels which may require segregation at different levels. It is better to analyze self potential.

We should understand that nobody is perfect, so we may found ourself less capable at some points and more capable at others. We can further categorize factors as which are by birth or can be developed. Now for ‘by birth’ capability like leadership, we are having little chance to improve but it never means that we should not try to improve it, knowing the complexity, if we try to do micro-analysis then we can find that improvement over one factor minutely affect many others. For sake of understanding, if we try to improve our leadership skill then our managerial capability will have direct impact to it. Once we keep chart of our capability and losses. We can differ our thoughts toward our personal and professional development.

It is also true that we can’t improve something at benchmark level, fortunately, even not required due to inversion of one factor to another,  like improving management skill to extreme level may lead to some detoriation in inter team skills in the role as a coleauge or as a friend.  Because management somewhat related to ‘using emotions’ rather than expressing it. So we should have our future plan ready and ‘nearly’ perfect mix of quality required to achieve that.

Secondly accept yourself. Don’t look others to whom you think supersedes you in any way. If you are looking you can’t progress.

Healthy competition don’t deal with comparing factors but with variation in the end results. If both are fighting for one target than first snatcher will be the winner or alternatively the one who scored higher in their respective unit. Be a liar to the word but not to yourself, you should know your exact potential and capabilities.

Many time we hear people stating that one incapable person got such a good result like that person is having very less knowledge then others but he/she is earning many folds than me and in similar fashion. Here comes the role of Xfactor, as these factors are directly not visible and hardly communicated, we use to oversee them. Some are having enriched amount of Xfactor which are most essential constitutes of success. I will further elaborate success in coming articles.

So remember, accept the way god have blessed you and try to utilize it for maximum benefits. Try to improve your skill and skills intelligence too.

*Initial Draft

*In revision.


A Blessing Called Introvert

September 26, 2008

**–Dedicated to ‘the best’ of my life–**

“Introverts are having majority in ‘Gifted’ population”

Introvert is a personality trait, can be define simply as “power with-in”. They are energized by being alone. They live gifted inner life. They are generally deep thinker, they analyze thing in better manner. Introverts are good sales player(according to sales formula that customer should speak 80% of time), very creative, sensitive(70% among Highly Sensitive Person) and artistic in nature.

They are empowered by positive side of being “quiet”. Introverts are good listener, they use to think before speaking. Introverts favors peace. They are more involved about discovering themselves rather then interacting with others. They have there personal life and personal area of thinking and especially they don’t want any intruders.

Introverts can be easily categorized by many behavior differences:

1. They always wanted to take out sometime to be alone to energize themselves.

2. They are definitely deep thinkers rather than being an action player.

3. Introverts may not be free enough to express themselves in public. They always notice surrounding audience, If they don’t, then something might have forced or excited them to take this aggressive step.

4. They are surely a good listener, they take a pause while speaking because they process their sentence in mind.

5. Sometimes, they may say anything much faster then current pace, that sentence may be quite crucial, because that indicates they are saying something, which is difficult for them to disclose.

6. They are intelligent speakers . They think before speaking and direct to the point.

What introverts want?

1. Main reason, Introverts are always treated a step back than extroverts because of their complex internal behavior, even many of us claims that they can not have good leadership skills, but I believe they can be good manager. You can find number of articles from introverts to extroverts but there may be no article from extroverts to introverts, this defined level of acceptance provided to introvert may be very less than extroverts in this extrovert world.

In many scenarios introverts are much better than extroverts.They feel insecure about level of acceptance and of “being misunderstood” by various extroverts (like me).
2. They just wanted others to understand them, ‘expression says more than words’ that exactly what they want.

3. They require sometime to be alone, without any disturbance to energize themselves. They don’t want any disturbance at that time period.

4. They want extroverts to understand there behavioral differences rather then blaming as very complicated and shy person. Just to mention, we treat something as ‘complicated’ because we are not having understanding capability to analyze or it takes too much efforts to analyze. So they require much attention then extroverts.

5. They always seeking for their comfortable environment. They require some extra time in slowly analyzing things.

6. They require special attention and caring. Take this point very seriously they require much attention and caring.

Caring your introvert

As already mentioned, they require special attention and caring. They feels shy about expressing their emotions and pain points. In there cases, body language play a key importance role. Apart from it, extroverts should be keen observers, surprisingly, they are quite good in hiding expression. When they are not comfortable, they always wanted to be alone and take out some time for themselves. Even introvert girls feels uncomfortable while disclosing their personal. Don’t force them to do things which they don’t want like trying them to ‘speak up’, publicly forcing them etc.

As personal encounter, I was successfully analyzed an introvert when she was not feeling comfortable, although she replied after a week or so that I was right at that time.

Loving an introvert

Introvert are lovable in nature. They are not the individuals of action but they cares about feelings,emotions etc. more than extroverts.

For sake of convenience, I am just dropping part for introvert-introvert relation mapping.

What is Love and Infatuation

I just want to describe love, being very high marketing and personal presence, love is far more important than this.

We are so much curious in understanding it, there are many novels, movies, serials many of those directly or indirectly relating to one of the most hot selling topic of the world ‘love’.

Although we may be aware little bit about love as many of flirts try to replicate or simulate symptoms and consequence of love. Many books represents step by step way to progress in this respect.

We all want love more than anything.

By birth, we are seeking for love. In childhood, we directly nurtured by love. At starting of our life we need it with great urge. At childhood we specially notice, that who love us most. Then being teenager, we are in excited stage, we try to find love as part of fun and pleasure and many times results in infatuation. After that, later part of our life, we are at more maturity levels of our mind, at this stage we may fall in love or infatuation in really slow pace. As our mind grows, we started analyzing multiple dimension and constraints, collecting more information and then processing them. It require little bit more efforts and time. After that, we find love in our children and cycle continues.

One more thing to state here that there is very thin difference between love and infatuation. Although greatest love of the world can die. So we can’t claim that only infatuation can end. It may also last longer and can be converted into some forms of love. No doubt, love supersede all these parameters, but love happens at max once then put a permanent impact on someone’s life while infatuation results more than once. That is love leads you toward a different life, life before love and after love is totally different.

Main difference is love spans at other’s end that is full of devotion and sacrifices while infatuation spans as a result of ‘need’ and ‘possessiveness’. There are some huge differences but I don’t want to disclose here, because I believe, infatuation is base of most of the love marriages.

If you are extrovert and you love some introvert. Then believe me, you are not so lucky. You require perpetual efforts and patience. You may go in heavy depression stage because you may be debilitated by misinterpretation and timing of response and sometimes complete absence for long. There will be situation when you neutralize your thought level and start analyzing cognitive way back by doing step by step analysis till date because you may not be left with any open option.

Sometimes, extroverts directly force introverts to speak, or to response which may hurt introvert. They want to choose there level of confidence and comfort to talk. You may find it strange when they don’t share there pain points with you and you always have to read them carefully to notice.

You may feel that the introvert are quite arrogant, shy or full of anxiety, but truly speaking they are not. Its really difficult to take on the word.

Extroverts can feel introverts’ need for distance as rejection.

Introverts can think extroverts are smothering or intrusive.

So is it really impossible for extroverts to love introvert?

Easiest answer is that its really very difficult but not impossible, we have to understand that in case of introvert, break even stage will be always ‘making your introvert at highest comfort level’ and assuring them that you will not change at any cost rather then trying to get some commitment about future. You are high level of caring and special attention. Apart from it, you may require high level of understanding and sensitivity “throughout”.

You may go in high depression stage, in this case medication is always better than bar!

There will be always good timings, when you will learn to accept there living and you will be capable to understand them but it require quite large time span.
Although chances of successful initiatives are very less. But this relation may be very near to be perfect one.
One more interesting thing introvert can understand extrovert, but however vice verse is not true.

*In revision.

** to be continued