Your most precious moment

August 14, 2008

We generally give more stress on looking at the extreme ends. Interestingly, we generally extend this principle in various aspects of our life. How many of us never use to see due date when planning to pay an installment? Many time we use to predict the future according to our certainty and make plans accordingly. We always give more stress to unknown tomorrow i.e. we generally plan that tomorrow we are going to put more efforts than today . Now deliberating this fact, we are so much assured about our coming tomorrow that we just put most important thing of our life “on hold”. Its really hard to deny this fact. It is adopted behavior i.e. we follow what others do. Resistance to change is quite strong, so most of us never dare to take a step ahead.

I am just rewriting previous sentence in more inherent manner.  We are not looking for tomorrow, we are just planning to make today more relaxed and comfortable. It may be quite dangerous sometimes, we make distance by unnecessary delay and that time gap act as barrier in the communication, soon we reach in the extreme position due to continuous avoidance of circumstances which don’t have any return point, then we loose. There is always some forces which act as “resistance to change” ( laziness and fear factor may be the key factor)

No one can assure about coming tomorrow. I am just repeating one sentence from my friend “No one know, what next moment will bring for him/her.  Only, we will be recognized by our good work and relation we have, that’s immortal”.  I totally agree that some of the task totally related to timing (altering of those may lead to consumer-producer problem) , but most critical one don’t.

We never know that how much of us is having happiness because of you and how much happiness is their in world for you. Everything is hidden in dark side of time. Its time to change things with next maturity level of thoughts. Why we use to delay most important things for us, why we always try to explain our heart to delay most important decisions of our personal and professional life by giving alibi. Some symptoms may be problems faced to reach at current position, fear factor, afraid from consequences, environmental factors and other social/political reasons. Why? Is their any significance of these listed things? Is their any comparison between your importance, will power, passion to reach goal and these minute factors. Then why we always keep ourselves stopped! Why we kill our likings. Instead of thinking about better implementation, we just plan to leave!!! We are independent then why we can’t freely say what we want, why we hesitate in communicating our rights, why we never take steps to achieve our motive? Who is stopping us? These hesitations may make our whole life ruin. Most of us will never ever be able to do what we want right now. We never use to prioritize importance of things and their probable importance in near future.

At personal level, to be the happiest we only have to keep our heart account free. Don’t keep anything pending. Then see how your life will be free from all problems.  It should be mentioned that only heart have deal with permanent happiness, brain don’t.

Don’t wait for unknown tomorrow. Make this moment your most precious moment. Go, let your “special” know that they are really special for you. Let your beloved one, your friends, your family, your mentors know how much important they are for you. How their presence make a difference in your life. Start your future tasks with today. Take your steps toward tomorrow. Leave all old tactics of looking for an opportunity, feeling hesitation in greeting/appreciation someone, waiting for favors. Don’t ruin your life by not caching this moment.  We already wasted lot of time in thinking, now don’t waste time, do what your heart feels.  Stop explaining to your heart, JUST DO IT even Emotional Intelligences verifies this that decision taken from heart is mostly correct. We try to take decision by our own and let other don’t know why we have done this, simply keeping other side in dark. Why we are afraid of consequences when it is always better to do things.

Why you stop because you find some one in  surrounding world when they never run with us, they have their different life and none of them at all interested in us. They are not at all part of your life, because they change with time. We ourselves are responsible for all mishaps.  Why we think that others will be uncomfortable without doing this when we know “most true side of our life is always hidden“. If you don’t do now you may not be able to do throughout your whole life. Honestly ask yourself, why we never appreciate if we want, why we hide things, why I have not taken decision at time, why I am delaying thing,. the only answer is you never compared resisting factor with importance of happening of that thing. Its not for reading,  it is for implementing. Try to implement from today.  Do what you want. Remember, “Failure is always better than ‘giving up’“. Feel breeze of “your new free world”. Even sometimes failure is better than success because when we got success we generally don’t workout on post analysis. But when we failed on something that we gather far more information on that subject,  we try to examine all importance aspects and specially why we failed.

Real losers are those who can’t manage all things together. They always run for one to give up all others. This is mostly true for money seekers. I really can’t understand why we give up one thing for another if things are independent or not competitor. I hope from today onwards you  may make your mind independent from excessive use and try to  lead to your better tomorrow.


The Hidden Surface

August 10, 2008

1. Do you think that you not representing what you really wants?

2. Do you think that whatever decision you are taking is not best?

3. Do you want to overcome from illusion of perfectness?

4. Do you want to know what ‘your special one(s)’ wants?

5.Whatever bad decision of your life may be because of lack of analysis of circumstances, external pressure and maturity/understanding level relative to domain!!

If any responds as affirmative, then this post may help you a lot.

I strongly believe that there may be huge difference between instant reaction and thorough analysis(which may lead to good decision making). Why sometimes we do some activity and realize it may not be worthy or even it is a mistake and try to make relations better while others  quickly realize the after effect and be quite careful while doing such things! Generally level of danger of instant reaction vary according to your status and position or in a direct manner, level of person may get influenced by you. You can’t expect any celebrity to object on  universal constraints(If they do then their will good gossip for news channel; simply one week dose :D)  .

What we feel may not be correct. We generally in the state of pretending something else that may not have any interaction with out state of heart/mind or beliefs. It is really very difficult to check assertion of the acts. Without conclusion and deep analysis whatever we do may be jumbled outcome of our biasing mind and emotional suppression. It can be taken as statement that we are having biased mind. If we claim we don’t; then that’s because of obscuring this fact by changing state of mind and hiding relative symptoms by giving more stress to your body language. That biasing may arise especially from our past experience and level of attraction which differ between individuals. There may be huge difference and may not be contravene, when we are prerogative to take decisions and when we do deep analysis due to situation or competitiveness.(A good example can be behavior difference between life before marriage and after). Generally in the state of excessive possessiveness or frustration, the part of our mind which try to distinguish good and bad may start diminishing  control over our decision or acts. I am having lack of knowledge in psychological categorization of state of mind for liking or disliking. Next time, when you really dislike some one then stop for a moment and think whether you really do, that may be temporal state or something which is annoying or irritating you. If we look deep into the things, irritation may be combined effect of situations. Its really very difficult to claim that situational and environmental state can not have any impact on our thoughts. So next time don’t claim that your personal problems may not creep into your work although by practice you can minimize its effect, which can shape into successful career.

Many researches explained that communication skill is one of the most important factor for everyone’s success. According to E.I., explaining emotions is one of the candidate of successful relations.

Just to give some proofs of the facts explained in above paras. We usually behave abnormally while we drink too much, but many times we react in similar fashion(i.e. some like to speak in english, laugh or sing). Many of us have strong belief that we say almost correct when we drink and some of them who don’t say may still using mind in that condition. Why, what happened when we drink! It just represent unconscious state of our mind that means we want to do that but we are controlling ourselves using our mind, so we started giving more importance to our heart, the desire. Mainly this is due to some facts. First, we are living in society and to be in accordance to social beliefs make our life easy. So obviously we can’t workaround on first. In my view ‘Society is not having any problem, if we are not directly disturbing other’s personal’.  Others are “fear factor” and puzzled mind. It should be mentioned that only mind is responsible for “bad” part of our life. Heart is very innocent and true in every scenario but of course, it takes input from mind. This again state that mostly we don’t react in the way we want. It is universal truth that mind can not supersede heart, although we can change the ratio, giving more stress over brain may lead to robotic life rather then living human being. I think many successful professional already adopted using mind instead of heart. But they are not having good personal life. They generally may use term ‘sacrifice’, but ‘mismanagement’ may be the right word.

Another sequence may be regarding importance. We know preferences regarding  importance of every person but we deny to accept. Usually, three most important person(s)/group in our life are

1. The one, who loves you: Because that may be the biggest reason of your existence, that one know your real importance and worth, specially what you deserves and for him/her, you may be the most important person.

2. The one, who is your love: He/She is surely most important for you. Your all happiness and pain is associated with him/her. You just want what’s best for him/her.

3. Group, which helped you in different part of our life and especially one who is with you at your worst moments. It may include your best friends, family and mentors: Because of them you are here. Never forget their help and support in your life.

I just want to add two thoughts, I am not against flirting. It may be good, but I am against the one who usually play with emotions. Do flirting with truth, never use words like love,hate, trust,marriage and when you actually don’t because you may not only spoiling purity of the words but you also reducing the importance of thing by using that for craps. If you think that you are big flirty, try to say straight and make the thing happens. Playing with someone’s emotions/life for personal benefits is the cheapest activity in my view. Secondly, don’t say anything which you can’t commit. If you have done this, explain things immediately.

So far, we discussed about changes in view but how we can overcome this? In the simplest, there is only one way i.e. by practice. We already know importance of saying truth at right time. We only need to realize it and neglect factor which can divert from this such as fear of consequences, environmental conditions and important one, lack of self confidence i.e. you think you can’t. Another related to variation of quality such as self respect may turns into overwhelming proud, egoism may turns into arrogance, shyness may turns into fear and diffidence may turns into timidness. We should be down to earth at any condition. This can happen by only one truth that remember, someone in the world is far better than you in everything you claims and surely may have additional “down to earth” quality.

The best way to practicing it:

1. Always take time of few seconds before speaking. Think of choosing better word, specially when you are excited or much emotional.

2. Don’t say anything in the state of aggressiveness.

3. If you doubt something then ask to recipient instantly. Don’t take anything to your heart. If something hurt you, say instantly that you don’t liked that. If you don’t then its your mistake because no one in the world is having power to read your mind. It is very possible that you may not interpreted in right manner. Please remember that we are human being and we can do mistakes easily so its far better to say on spot.  Time difference in saying instantly or after some time , may lead to big quarrel. If someone is close to you then you should not give them chance to keep guessing what happened wrong. Say atleast once.

Don’t get hurt by your own mistakes. Asking thing which pinched you at right time is your rights and can be very helpful for others. So don’t be silent next time when something pinched you, say straight and this is nothing to do with self respect or egoism. In simplest, if you still feel uncomfortable then just close your eyes, keep your mind free and start bursting on one at other end, remember don’t think at all while doing this activity because it is your rights.

4. Follow expert gurus of this: You can follow many celebrities you keeps on practicing such activity. Study their behavior when they use to distribute their words. Take feedback from your friends.

5. self revision: Check state when you told something inconvenient. Next time when you face same situation be a bit careful.

6. Take advice from seniors, they are having quite good experience of this and you can also find some mishaps only because of this.

*In revision

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Friendship Day Special

August 3, 2008

When we first introduced to the world we see many eyes having hope and expectation, but some supporting hands always stay with us in difference phases of life. We starts categorizing them according to situation and comfort level and some of them may become friends forever.

When we see toward our past life at different experiences, difficult times they use to give free consultancy and always try to fix up the thing without any personal benefits!! Together we shared, had fun, enjoyed, cried together in giving some special moments with accelerated our growth. I can’t remember number of times, when someone told me go ahead I am with you. Being a normal human being, we always fall in problems and instantly supported.

Most special part about true friendship is that, if we forgot about them for long times and then we recall, they never use to complain(Try this in case of your girlfriend/boyfriend.. that make friends better than them :D). It also helps in long lasting friendship. I just want to recall one incident. One of my good friend called me after 1 month, he was in the state of anxiety(seems like). He started to say, sorry my girlfriend just taken me away from my friends, she was too bad. I am so sorry than I haven’t contacted you because of her and so on. I was really in wonder, I never expected this, it was quite normal for me, being his friend but ya that realization made me feel good :D.
I am very choosy in making friends, I try to properly categorize them. I waste quite good amount of time in analyzing them. Luckily, currently I am having 100% success in choosing the best. I am having quite big group of good friends and each of them are special in some way. It really strengthen me. They helped me enormous times, which makes my journey smooth. One more thing about friendship(which make it, one more win over girlfriends and boyfriends :P) is that friends are quite flexible, they understand you better than anyone else. When we threaten them, shout on them or even if we scold them, they may not react in abnormal way because they may be aware that its normal behavior for us. Sometimes, I really wonder that am I annoying them, and they use to  respond “its OK! we are listening. Its not so boring..(:D).”

Being so good, we should also take care of dimension and limitation of friendship. I read one though of the day it state that “Never advise anyone to go to war or ‘to marry’. Just extending these things a bit forward. When thing are quite serious and if consequences can put heavy impact on your friends life, simply “give guidance, but never involve”. But if you really want take something into account. First, you should have very good knowledge about your friend and every side. Secondly, you should be expert of things, if you never experienced that situation then give up. Always remember if thing are very serious then its really very difficult to make things correct, so it may be possible that accidentally, you may spoil everything, even if your intentions are quite good.  So you must be powerful enough to phase both situation, if thing gone worst then only “you” will be blamed or cursed. That may be temporal but it may hurt you, that you helped your friend and now you are getting such response!! its quite natural. Another note, if everything go fine than no one really cares about your efforts, you may not be blamed but none the less, never ever be appreciated. So it should be completely self-less. But, it may go even bad, you may be harmed by either party. So its better to remember dimension of friendship and their dimension. Its good that you behave diplomatically in handling situation like this.

*Not Reviewed Yet

*In revision.

Help tips for decision makers

August 2, 2008

We generally never understand that when we will matured enough to take CORRECT decisions. Every time we grow up and our wrong decisions makes input to take correct decision. Quite convincing may be, there is no limitation of maturity and understanding level and correct decision making. “Relative” experience always counts for taking perfect decisions. I specially mentioned ‘relative’, it indicated that if we don’t have knowledge on that topic, take help of experts.

We can simulate decision making to various systems including court and “winning a bid”. All it takes is good understanding and maturity level. Good knowledge of each clues and there future impact. Currently, I would like to take personal decision making rather than professional for proper diversion of the content.

One of the important aspect of decision making is always see stakeholder impacted by that decisions. If any one else apart from you will be in direct impact with that decisions then have proper discussion and get everything clarified and take inputs from every stakeholder. For example, if you are deciding to take decision regarding relations then its not your own. It made of atleast two. So its better to have transparency at every points. Never take such decision by your own. Always discussion with other stakeholder and if you want to take; then explain others that I am taking this decision because of so and so reasons. Keeping any side blank is very problematic and may lead to frustration. In the simplest, if something is strange or awkward, start thinking from that person’s view. It may give you clear picture.

Guys are in general very career prospective(including me). But career and goal is not the only aim in our life. There should be proper abstraction between personal life and professional life. Everything including workarounds, responsibility and goal is totally different for both parts. Its my belief, not quite convincing but it should be like two sides of a coin. One inherent meanings is that never mix-up your professional and personal and remember in special cases “personal” life is having quite high priority over “professional”. I remembered one of the statement of my good friend “Professional assists us in living our  personal life fully”. I totally agree with this statement.

Most of the time problem lies in misunderstanding, it should be clear that two person’s always have different views that may not compatible. So we can’t expect same perception throughout(I am really very poor in making others understand what I mean to say, it may reflect in this article:P).

I really wanted to write this article early because it may helped many of my friends :(. Generally, when we say we sacrificed for some one! really we do? If other side is not aware about it or you are not claiming that you may loose something than this is not sacrifice this is totally foolishness, but ya, timing matters. For examples, many times I heard something like “I have to choose career or his/her” so I chosen career. To my wonder, it is main factor why many of us having tarrying Indian values and looking toward western culture which says ” Don’t take tension, if something annoying you, give up”.  Strange! first of all there should not be any condition to “choose”, it can only exist if every stakeholder is not clear about it. Make other clear that you are gonna loose something which may trouble you in future so they may understand but if we never say something annoying me or causing me some loss and sharing that statement, then it may be nuisance. Many career prospective person(including me) give preference to my career because at one aspect, it will help me in giving me and others quite good condition to live. It also leads to a bright future.

One more thing, Its better to take decision at appropriate time with proper communication with stakeholders rather than squandering the time.

*In Revision

*In progress

Every Human Being is special.

August 2, 2008

I strongly believe that we are here in this world for certain goal. Every one’s position is already fixed. We are here to achieve that position(we call our target). We varies our path and direction due to personal and social needs. Just match with a child’s dream and today, is their any difference!! I don’t think that really we want to become the 1 we are today. But something which turned us toward our current track.

I just want to comment on one thing that we are not created by ‘self’. There are many eyes having hope and expectation from us, guiding us throughout our life in different turns and twist, they never say that your presence may be important to them, even they may never express but we know we are. So our presence is important not for self or someone, not for some of us but many of us who are and will be part of our life at some instance. We never use to recognize our values, It can be also verified by mythological beliefs.

I also believe on “never ever give up philosophy”. Personally, I generally try to slow down the thing in case of problems but it always resides somewhere that I have to do/achieve that. In the simplest, we give up because of some reasons most of them arise due to problems, fear and specially against the art of laziness :P. Many of us have dreamed somewhere which are lost due to our daily routine and we generally give same excuse : We never get enough  time to do this(Although it has nothing to do with time, it is something to with priority management) . Sometimes we also believed in “Thing Big” policy. I remembered one of statement said by my very good friend and successful professional. Most of the time you have to deal with hurdle race but we have to win :-). As we know, “Just keep thing running with same pace” is always easiest thing to do but it will never make your extraordinary but perhaps lazy.

We Indians are quite different to thoughts because we always give more stress to being at safe side, job security may be one of the examples. One more attention is giving up due to upcoming problems(More on decision post). Again we look at famous story of rabbit and tortoise. I am in favor of rabbit, only rabbit wanted to have honesty and guidance, if rabbit got that quality then no tortoise can win without external support :D.

Everyone if they know their capability and importance and reason for their existence and work hard to achieve their target then I don’t think any external motivation is required. We all are self motivated to achieve our dream and we only require guidance/support but we are not dependent to brighten up our life. One thing I would like to add, if we tried our best with full honestly to get something then even after lots of efforts, we ll not get anything then their is still some satisfaction that atleast we tried(It also give good addition to our experience) and also help us in shaping our future. I am really against discouragement after loosing something. We should learn that their may be some mistakes and should try to improve that and again put efforts with double speed. Only looser say “Every thing is written, if something don’t belongs to you, you will not get it”. Above mentioned phrase is not wrong at all, but no where written that how that written thing will belongs to us, so after few years we can see our achievement and can say that thing was written in our life :D.

Please provide your valuable comments to add beauty to customized articles like this. I really appreciate your efforts in reading it.

*Not Reviewed Yet..

In Progress…